Help4Trauma.org

COPING WITH ANGER

Of any other disorder, people diagnosed with DID and their parts of self have the right to be VERY angry. We were hurt by those who were supposed to protect and love us. Many of us swallow our anger, but in healing it eventually comes out. And, when it does, you have to be prepared on how to express it and get it out without hurting yourself or other

Anger is a normal, human emotion. It is intense. Everyone gets angry and has a right to his/her anger. Do you manage your anger? Do you allow anger to mobilize you in positive directions? Open, honest, and direct expression is the most effective way of managing anger. Some effective management techniques are:

Anger Management Techniques

Choose constructive ways of expressing your ideas(not destructive methods/solutions/ideas.

Try physical outlets e.g. housework, going for a walk, etc.

Problem solve and come up with action plans, e.g. forming a neighborhood group to combat vandalism.

Involve an objective third party. Ask someone you trust to let you know when you begin to lose your temper.

Use the "empty chair" exercise. Pretend you're sitting across from the person you're angry with, and say whats on your mind. Who is this person?

Writing a letter to the person you are angry with. You could describe your anger right now, at the time of the anger event or both. You can destroy it/can save it/you can mail it at a later date.

Use relaxation techniques, e.g. guided imagery, self-help tapes/music, etc.

Use positive self-talk, e.g. "I am able to choose my anger style," and, "I am angry but I'm not going to let it..."

Work towards anger resolution through acceptance (learning to live with the fact that certain people and situations, past and present, & future, will not change.)

Make realistic expectations, e.g. What is one frustrating anger situation? Can it really change as you'd like it to in the near future?

If not...
realize the powerlessness over the situation.

Give yourself a time limit to be angry, and then let it go!

Constantly remind yourself "I cannot afford to stay angry. What's at stake here?"

Recognize the need for forgiveness. "No painful event is allowed to contribute to my anger more than one time."

Other Creative Ways to Get the Anger Out:

Break old dishes you bought from a thrift store.

Rip apart an old cassette tape, smash the casing.

Throw ice cubes at a brick wall.

Throw eggs in the shower.

Rip apart an old phone book.

Smash fruit with a bat or sledge hammer.

Throw darts at a picture of the perp (if you don't have one, make one).

Punch pillows.

Scream into a pillow.

Slam doors.